Relationships, who needs em

Well, I've been doing some reminiscing lately. Was interesting to flip though my blog real quick. I'm at such a different place in life these days. Ultimately I definitely want to be with someone and live happily ever after. But seriously, don't have time for BS right now. I wish I knew how to be friends with guys. When I am, it always turns sexual. ugh. lol. I mean, I know I'm always sexually frustrated...probably my own fault lol.

At this point, I don't have time for a damn relationship. I have enough shit to deal with in my life, but damn. I wish I at least had some regular freaking booty call. The thing is, I have to have some sort of relationship with whoever I sleep with, or it does absolutely nothing for me. When I have feelings, sometimes I obsess...which you can see as evidenced in this blog, which has previously been a place for me to vent instead of pissing of friends.

I wish I hadnt fucked things up so royally with D. but that's life. Sometimes, I imagine I'll somehow get another chance to show him I'm not insane. lol. unfortunately that's not likely to happen. Now to find someone like him...My M at work is pretty damn hot too....I may or may not have fucked with him. ;) it's a secret tho. I think that kind of makes it hotter. No...what would make it hotter is if he came over on a regular basis! lmao. I just need to be fucked regular a few days a week would be nice...If the sex drive is suppose to go up as I get older, this isn't looking good. I thought men were suppose to be like this?? I always think it would be hot to have some good ol lunch time fun...even with my ex when I'd go over to his place at lunch...never anything fun. Anyways, that's another story that I refuse to talk about. ugh. ugh. ugh.

Yeah, so I want someone to text back and forth with (because I'm an attention whore...at least I can admit it!), I want someone to cuddle and make out with and then to fuck me crazy at least 3 times a week. that's only like half the duties of a bf right?? lol. Hmm and the potential for it to grow into more would always be nice too...for when I have feelings and my shit isn't so crazy, it would be nice to you know, date someone again. Rather, I don't even want to date, I just want to be with someone. Just be.

Anyway, enough rambling for now. I'll try to not stay away for as long!

xo
ol