d-man

welllll i don't think I'll ever be fully over d. I still want him. I've been thinking about him more lately....i had blocked him out for a while...but emailing him lately has got me all opened up again. I put together a package that i'm going to try and send out tomorrow. Hopefullly he likes most of what's in it. He wouldn't tell me what to send him so i had to research and guess....kinda a pain....ugh.

met a new guy this weekend. He's really sweet. ....but he's just no d. on one else comes close.....ugh. I think I'm going to see if it'll work out. if it doesn't....i'm not going to try anymore....I'll wait til d gets home and pounce on him.....very carefully so he doesn't even know its happening....i really want to make him want me as much as i want him...bc this whole one sided love thing is not cool.

xo
ol

Is this the next phase of my life?

Well...I feel like I'm getting out a little more...at least going out on more dates and talking to more guys. I don't feel that much a need to find someone to date. I'm finding myself more and more content with being by myself and doing my own thing. Sometimes I wish I had someone for bear hugs and back rubbing...but other than that...I like not having to worry about anyone but me and dylan. I don't have the time or energy to deal with another child.

I'm not saying I wouldn't like to find someone....but I guess what I'm feeling is just less desperation. i'll meet someone eventually....I just don't like not being able to do couples things with my friends because I'm the only single one....and that no one has time to hang out cuz they're all hanging with their hunnies. That kinda makes me wish I had one...but I'm sick of trying to date losers. I deserve so much better than that. I need to just meet people and go out...but end it there when I find out their loserish behaviors and personalities.

one day my prince charming will come....and one day I'll lose a shitload of weight...then we'll all be happy...yay!

xo
ol